Love: What IS

 

So I’m reporting back on our family experiment to learn and implement a monthly theme.

GUYS. WHY? Why do I think this is ever going to go the way I think! It never does!

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A Week’s Recap

Day 1: Family Meeting. The big kids get it, the preschooler shares their excitement but she’s not sure why and the littles pull out all the Christmas books and spread them all over the floor. This is success.

Day 2: At dinner the kids start going around and doing the best/hardest part of their day. I pause them and remind them that we are going to share where we saw love in our day. They look at me puzzled and no one comes up with anything. We rehash the family meeting and vow to try again.

Day 3: Dinner again. “Where did you see love today?” Yep, crickets. So I give an example of appreciating the kids doing some chores without being asked. They then each retell that story as their love experience for the day. *insert eye roll here*

Day 4-6: Okay! I decide to pre-prepare them for dinner at school drop off. “Bye guys, love you, don’t forget to look for LOVE today!” Dinner came around, there were real stories about where the kids saw love.

love-cookies

Things I’ve Learned

  • Where kids see love tells me a lot. Our oldest sees other people doing acts of love for one another yet never tells about himself feeling/acting in love. Our daughter is always telling us how she loved someone. Our preschooler sees the whole world as love and she can connect love to just about anything in her day.
  • I need to better define love for our kids. Love is more than an act of kindness, an encouraging word or a feeling. How we define love may change where the kids see love.
  • No one has taken me up on the senses challenge yet. I am sure it is coming but it hasn’t happened yet. I’ll report back when it does!

Goals Moving Forward

  • Define Love. Outside of some scripture I already have been working with I am turning to Pinterest for some inspiration and kid perspective on love.
  • See love more. As I’ve been telling the kids to “look for love” around them I realized I haven’t done a great job of that myself. Time to buy in and start!

Love…Love…Love…

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Hello 2017…Let’s Eat!

An End of Year Intro?

So picture me and 2 of my friends sitting around laughing to the point of tears. And then a few breaths later imagine them both staring at me intently. That’s where this little 2017 adventure begins…

Over the years the idea of choosing a word has become something people do. Everyone from serious journalists to bloggers to the every day person can do it. Pick a word, learn about it, explore it, experience it and see what life brings your way.

I’ve been a fair-weather fan in the past. Yet, regardless of my past record I’ve jumped on board for 2017.

(drumroll please…) WHOLE. My word for 2017 is WHOLE.

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Photo by Life & Peace Photography

So now…

2016 was a rough year – in so many ways. Yet, I don’t want to look back on it and have it be a big black spot in my memory. I want to believe that many of the hard, bad and broken things of 2016 can still be redeemed. 

So…there are 3 places this is going to play out for me and 1 I am going to specifically blog about…

The three areas I am seeking wholeness are: Immediate Family Relationships and Rhythms, Our Home, My Personal Calling to Teach.

Feel free to ask me about any of these anytime but I want to focus on a specific aspect of our Immediate Family Relationships…moms, this one is for you!

We are family?

We are a family of 7. With 7 personalities, ages, stages, schedules and needs it is SO HARD to feel a sense of unity. Even though we have family movie night and we have a minimum of 2 meals around the same table every day, I feel like our actual connectedness is lacking.

So, the marketer in me realized that I could Pinterest and Plan until I had nothing left but it wasn’t going to make a bit of difference if the other 6 people in our family didn’t have any buy in. It’s marketing 101! The team has to want to play!

One problem. Did I mention we are a family of 7? I don’t actually have time to Pinterest and plan and prep. I barely have time to drink a warm cup of coffee or eat a whole meal. Whatever the big plan for unity was – it was going to have to be easy.

And it is going to be…

Let’s learn together, but PLEASE make it EASY!

First, I picked a theme: Fruits of the Spirit. Don’t roll your eyes quite yet. One of the things we want all our kids to have is good character. Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Gentleness, Faithfulness and Self Control are ALL parts of character building.

Second, I needed a visual: I have a very talented friend who is helping me make wall decals. Done.

Third, Organization: Each month we have a theme. Yes, I know there aren’t 12 fruits! We are going to repeat a few that we either need to work on or we really enjoyed. We are starting with Love.

  • Each night at dinner instead of asking the kids the best part and hardest part of their days like we currently do, we are going to ask them to tell us something about their day that reminded them of our theme.
  • Each night at dinner I will share a fact, definition, quote or verse about Love. Defining the character aspect is key.
  • Each day when I am talking to the kids about life, homework, friends…or disciplining, guiding or teaching I will be asking myself how is this reflecting or implementing our theme this month?

Fourth, Buy In: #TeamJudd, as we call ourselves, needs to get on the same page. But this mom, she is tired and busy and did I mention tired? So I am going to have the kids do the work!

Anytime I get an “I’m bored.” “I don’t have anything to do.” “No one will play with me.” I am going to give them a theme discovery task. We are going to ask ourselves the basic sensory questions in regards to our theme and then see if any other activities or opportunities present themselves.  If so, great, the child who thought of it will help implement it. If not, that’s okay, at least we are thinking and exploring!

So for example with Love…

  • What does love LOOK like?
  • What does love SOUND like?
  • What does love TASTE like?
  • What does love SMELL like?
  • What does love FEEL like?

Because of the various ages, stages and personalities of our kids I expect the responses and ideas to vary pretty greatly.

And this accomplishes what?

For me, Love tastes like Dove Milk Chocolate after a really long day…but it could also taste like a big juicy steak on a date with my husband.

What I learn about what love tastes like is that it isn’t really what I am eating but when and with who. How does that change what I pack my child’s lunch or choose what snacks I provide when a girlfriend comes over?

The Best Part…

I am really excited to explore some of the themes with the younger kids like joy and kindness and others of them with the older kids like faithfulness and self control. I think we will all learn a lot about who we are meant to be.

Here’s the best part: This is easy. I will spend less than 15 minutes a day “preparing” to implement this activity. The goal is not what we DO but what we LEARN. If we do nothing but have an increased, unified, knowledge of our character, this will be successful in my mind.

So, come along with me. I am going to try to swing by the blog once a week and update, share our ideas, conversations, failures and growth.

And, if you’re feeling adventurous, join in! We’d love to see how other families grow together.