“The greatest distance in the world is just 14 inches from the mind to the heart…it’s most difficult to decide whether to go with the Heart or the Mind.” ~Unknown
This would be a fair summary of what it is like to take some of the deepest most difficult parts of both your heart and mind and try to see joy in them all.
As I sat down to keep my commitment to 31 Days of this story I found myself tired, exhausted almost. This thing we do every day with this son is exhausting in ways I never knew possible.
So today, as I give my heart and mind a much needed rest, I’d encourage you to take some rest of your own. Find a quiet corner or open field or long car ride and restore, refresh, renew.
Revisit and be Revived…
Brave Words, “I’ve been thinking about this measurement a lot. I’ve blogged here for years on and off and while I’ve alluded to this, I’ve never really said it, I have a neurodiverse child. I haven’t said it because I don’t want to be measured.”
Loneliness, “The place in our brains where emotions and logic are related don’t exist for him. To think through how someone feels and what they think at the same time is too much. He can’t.”
Creative Leaders, “In his difficult mind lies logic, emotion, hunger, pain, social norms, everything. The difficult part is that he can only work through one of those things at a time and when he is in that mode he only sees the world through that lens.”
Difficult Mothering, “We all know that when one person in a family struggles, everyone has to figure out how to adjust.”
God, “We haven’t figured out how to differentiate between the law (just doing the right thing doesn’t get you to God) and grace (which doesn’t mean you do whatever you want). As a difficult mind, he is all law all the time. We try so hard not to make faith about rules, yet if that is how he understands the world, maybe it is okay.”
Looks Normal, Isn’t “Grace. Grace provides the room to learn and to change. To grow and to develop. To understand and be transformed.”
Unexplored Brilliance, “When you live in a world of unexplored brilliance you walk into a blank canvas every single day. Exploration and questions are constant. Ideas and applications are unique. It is a little like living with a mad scientist, they seem crazy but man are they brilliant!”
Tears, “Some time passes and I am able to lay him on the floor and begin to rub his back. He begins to cry. He has hit his breaking point. He is coming back to me, the real him.”
Anxiety, “Today I am thankful that knowledge is power. I am thankful that part of our son’s Difficult Mind has a name and there is help. There are people, there are methods, there is hope. Today, we hope.”
Names Matter, “Changing the name changes how we see the person. Calling my son neurodiverse helps me see him as a human being with potential, creativity and passion. He becomes a living, breathing soul to be nurtured and not just a difficult child to be fixed. In being neurodiverse we can no longer use our sons struggles as an excuse for poor behavior or negative attitudes, instead we use it as a tool, a guide to seeing and interacting with the world in a new way.”
Relationships, “We were all made for each other. Maybe you are the mom, friend, spouse that carries that person in your life from one place to another, maybe you need that person right now. Regardless of where you are on the spectrum of giving or need, you weren’t made to do it alone. Let someone in.”
Truth, “Truth: Brings Freedom and Hope…it calls out in us the beauty and uniqueness of who we were meant to be, we don’t have to hold back…it creates and molds and mends our relationships with one another, the place we find joy…it helps us see hope is possible, even for parenting and difficult minded children.”
“Hope and sorrow in it all there’s rescue and there’s not.”
There’s Rescue: As we journey we have the chance to share our story and be the people God created us to be. When we play our own note we become a beautiful part of the symphony of life.
There’s Not: Sharing our story takes courage and faith. One day at a time.
Today I am thankful for how far I have come on my own personal journey.