I’m ready to run. Tuck it all away in a safe place and go back. Back to holding it all in, acting like we had it all together and keeping everyone on the outside of this story we live every day. Taking all this truth back as not to worry anyone or make them uncomfortable or force them to think outside their comfortable, functioning box.
All this truth telling about our life and our son is a bit terrifying. I keep thinking…
…who really wants to hear about this sadness anymore?
…who am I to suggest joy can be found in the midst of pain?
…what right do I have to challenge people to love more deeply?
I go about the business of our day a feel the still small voice of truth talking back…
…if we don’t share our stories, even the sad ones, than how is compassion learned?
…if we don’t demonstrate joy defeating sorrow, than how will belief in healing come?
…if we don’t live out our calling by simply being who we are, than what are we doing here?
Truth: Actual Definition: The real facts about something. Not the feel good version of life or the made up facts about what we wish life was or even the ideals that make up life. Just the facts.
The irony of it all, these feelings of running and the voice of truth, is that truth is one of the “big things” that our son struggles with.
…because truth is scary. It is true that one day he will be an adult and he will get to choose where he lives. The truth of this recently discovered fact has our son steeped in fear and asking me daily if we will always live near one another.
…because truth doesn’t always make things easier. The truth is that our son has some every day struggles that even he notices. We are working diligently on things like tying our shoes but we aren’t there yet. I can’t make the struggle go away, the truth is that this is just how you are son.
…because truth doesn’t always make sense. Truth only sees a world of black and white. Your sister took your favorite book out of the special place in your room, she deserves a consequence. Grace says maybe we find another way. Humility says we aren’t always selfish, even if we have the right to be. Love says we don’t see our sister as less than, even though she’s sinful.
Truth: Has always been complicated.
…it is the knowledge that has won wars and devastated warriors.
…it is the idea that has opened new worlds and driven people mad.
…it is the philosophy that lived out like Jesus intended is dangerous.
Truth: Brings Freedom and Hope.
…it calls out in us the beauty and uniqueness of who we were meant to be, we don’t have to hold back.
…it creates and molds and mends our relationships with one another, the place we find joy.
…it helps us see hope is possible, even for parenting and difficult minded children.
So we will keep telling our story. The truth will set us free, all of us.
“Hope and sorrow in it all there’s rescue and there’s not.”
There’s Rescue: Sharing the truth of our story, this Difficult Mind and how it has molded and shaped us has brought a sense of freedom. It is also meant to encourage, and when it has I have been moved to tears. The truth shared among friends sets us all free.
There’s Not: There is still fear involved. Truth will always be a risk.
Today I am thankful for this small little corner where the truth is being exposed. Thankful for the love that has been give and received. Hopeful that as we each begin to share more of our stories, healing and grace will follow.