Yes, I promise someday I will write about something else except transitions, that day is not today.
There’s this thing that happens when we go from knowing something to believing something. It is usually a process for this to happen. That seems to be God’s design.
He reveals something and we know it. It makes sense in some way. We “get it” on a very surface level. Yet as we begin to live out our knowing, we begin to experience it. We go from having head knowledge to having heart knowledge. We move from giving facts to telling stories. We go from knowing to believing.
I knew for a long time that God had a purpose for me. Yet only now am I beginning to see, understand and experience what it might be or where it might lead.
Because I have always been in transition I have always seen myself as an outsider. On the fringe. Not able to be included.
Since I have spent most of my life in transition I have also gained great skill, the skill of networking. Not networking in the business sense (although I was in sales for a time and realized I actually network well and would go far in a corporate environment where that was required).
I’m thinking of networking more in the sense of connecting. Since I’ve been on the outside looking in so often, it is easy for me to identify the need for Person A and Person B to make a connection. Person A has a need, Person B has a skill, connect them and voila! To be able to see the needs, skills and goals of those around me and be willing to connect is a great skill and can be very impactful.
However, when I am not person A or person B I have very limited long term involvement or impact. And while I am 100% sure that God uses this and blesses this and that I will keep doing it, I always felt like something was missing, that God was asking for something more.
God wanted me.
God wanted me to not just be a matchmaker of needs and skills but be a part of the match. I hesitated. If I’m going to be honest, I out right resisted.
Being part of the match meant more investment. It meant being more vulnerable. It meant slowing down to process. It meant relationships that needed pursing. People that needed love. It meant listening when I wanted to think and encouraging when I wanted to be silent.
But God is persistent. When we give God just a little, He takes a whole lot.
And the he gave me a gift, empathy.
You see, anytime I’ve done any kind of spiritual assessment I rank lowest in compassion and mercy. Almost ZERO. I know a man made quiz does not reveal the heart of God or mans soul but let’s face it – if for years you keep experiencing the same thing, you begin to accept it as truth. For me I just decided I didn’t have it in me to be merciful and compassionate so I would do the hard things for Jesus and leave the mushy Jesus things to someone else.
And then I began to struggle with transition, purpose and calling. In that time God reminded me that I was made in HIS image, HIS likeness and that nothing I had experienced would be wasted and he would make it something NEW.
I could have mercy and compassion. I did have a purpose. And because God wastes nothing he would use me right where I was, I had been given the gift I needed.
And Rachael the analytic, somewhat skeptic, realist, was given the gift of Empathy and God began to change me.