Testimony and Transition

So the other day I wrote this little piece on process and transition. As I’ve been reflecting on purpose and process and transition, I keep running into some of the same things. Things about me and my life. Things I have defined and things that I haven’t thought much about.

I thought it only fair since I started this thought process that I should keep thinking out loud and invite you along…

I suppose what is about to follow may be considered a testimony of sorts…right now for me, it’s just truth and yet scripture reminds us that truth is a testimony…so here it goes…

I’ve always been a person in transition. It’s just how my life has happened. Consider for a minute these things…

1. I’ve lived in 3 or 4 different countries and about the same amount of US States (depends on what you count as “living”)

2. The longest I’ve ever stayed In 1 place is approximately 9ish years, and that was in the last 10 years.

3. I went to 3 different high schools and 3 different colleges

4. I’ve gone to Christian School, Lutheran School, Catholic School and Public School

5. By the time we moved to our current home I’d resided at 5 different addresses in the last 10 years and over 30 different addresses through out my life.

I’m 33 years old.

When I say I’ve always been in transition, I really mean it. During my childhood my family was in ministry, in my young adulthood I was a wanderer and in the last couple years I’d say I’ve been a follower.

I’m 33 years old.

Somewhat ironically, I married a man who was born and lived in the same town until he went to college. Even then, he’s only ever lived in 2 other cities. He went to the same school, had the same friends and can even claim that his parents live in his childhood home. (As you might guess, he’s the more sane and stable of the two of us, one of the many reasons I love him!) I am constantly amazed that God chose this man for me.

Maybe it’s the fact that we are about to have 4 kids, or that I’m currently not working full time or that I’m just aging…but I’ve always struggled with the fact I was a woman in constant transition.

In my young adulthood my anger towards being constantly transitioning just led to more transitions! I went from job to job, college to college, potential career to potential career. I kept seeking satisfaction in the comfort of change and yet I just kept feeling empty.

I kept asking God “Isn’t this what you want? Aren’t I supposed to grow into who you created me to be? Doesn’t that mean I keep transitioning so one day I’ll hit the magic God Mark and be in the right spot?”

While these questions hold some truth they are not true, this is not God’s method. This is mans method. Keep transitioning and you will “find yourself”, “arrive”, “get there”.

God’s method of finding purpose does not start with me, it starts with God, quietly.

“Be STILL and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46)

Ponder for a moment a few translations and interpretations of this verse…

Cease striving and know that I am God…”
New American Standard

Be silent, and know that I am God…”
New Living Translation

“Step out of the traffic! Take a long, loving look at me, your High God…”
The Message

Do you see it? Do you feel it? We can not transition our way close to God or his purpose for us. For a moment, in the midst of our daily life of process, we must stop. Cease. Slow. Be silent.

Transition has a place but it is not meant to be a way of life.

We are all in constant process but that doesn’t mean we are in constant transition. Some processes are slow, silent.

This is a newer way of life for me. To stop seeking transition and enjoy and grow in the rhythms of process. And as I’ve begun to understand it, God has begun to speak.

And in His words, I hear YOUR name. I see YOUR face. And I am beginning to get a glimpse of what may be ahead for us both.

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5 thoughts on “Testimony and Transition

  1. I love this, Rachael. It reminds me of a few lines from Christian Wiman’s book My Bright Abyss (have you read that one? SO good.):

    “What you must realize, what you even must come to praise, is that there is no ‘right way’ that is going to become apparent to you once and for all … Wisdom is accepting the truth of this. Courage is persisting with life in spite of it. And faith is finding yourself, in the deepest part of your soul, in the very heart of who you are, moved to praise it.”

    1. I haven’t read this (sounds like I need to) but I LOVE this “Faith is finding yourself, in the deepest part of your soul, in the very heart of who you are, moved to praise it.” YES!

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