“And he heard the conversation, and hadn’t enjoyed it much either, because he kept on thinking that the others were taking no notice of him and trying to give him the cold shoulder. They weren’t, but he imagined it.”
Have you ever been in a room or group where a conversation was happening and you felt on the outside of it? Were you really being left out or were you choosing to be left out?
We are reading The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe to our son (again). Every time I read through it I am intrigued that there are still new things to learn.
In the quote above Edmond has already associated himself with evil but is currently in the presence of good. He reacts to the presence of good by creating a false reality of evil or loneliness.
I read this, put my son to bed, and read it again. I am Edmond.
Recently I was in a room of women I love and who love me in return. Yet, I felt left out and on the outside and IT WASN’T THEIR FAULT. It was mine!
I was having a rough day, I was struggling through and had given in to pity and doubt. I wasn’t seeing the thanksgiving and grace in my day and had adopted an attitude of selfishness and pride. I had danced with evil.
My evil (sinful) self encountered the grace and good of community love and I choose evil (self-pity).
I CHOSE IT. Just like Edmond, I was sure I had a right to selfishness and the good I was in the midst of wasn’t real. I grumbled and felt sorry for myself all day and yet I had CREATED this event in my head that did not at all reflect the reality of the situation.
God is gracious in that my daily time with my son revealed my own sin. I was able to see clearly that I made a poor decision and I suffered for it. It would have been a much better joy to set self aside and engage in community.
My son doesn’t remember, but even though Edmond chooses the Queen initially, he comes around to exploring good. Edmund gets a second chance.
Today, God reminded me of my second chance.
2 Peter 3:9 (ESV)
“The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.”
Today is your second chance. Reclaim the beauty of the good!