Meet Dana: Dana is a newlywed who is a traveling consultant. She is guest blogging for 2 weeks and giving us a peek into what it is like to be the one away from home.
In Part 1 of Dana’s Story she shared with us the whirlwind tour of travel. You can read about it here —> Part 1 After being overwhelmed but sure she was in the right job for right now Dana and her husband found a new normal. Here is what they decided!
I didn’t really care about the house being clean but I was stressed from the work week, wishing I was able to hang out with my friends and family rather than spending time alone in the hotel and also feeling guilty that I was upset with my husband knowing it was really the stress and loneliness of travelling that had been upsetting me.
So what do we do to avoid this the next week, since local companies weren’t banging down my door to offer me a job and I really did enjoy the luxuries of being a frequent traveler?
This is what we found works:
- Stay Connected: Every morning and every night, we make sure we call or text each other and say “I love you”. Even on the busiest days when we are in town together, we still always find 15 minutes when we’re lying in bed, before we fall asleep, to talk about a situation we need to discuss (ex.Dinner invitation from friends, holiday plans, upcoming business trip,etc.).
When I am out of town we do not have that alone time, so we share an Outlook calendar that we can both access through our phones or on our computer. This gives us the ability to tentatively mark items on the calendar until we can find time to work out the details over the phone or in person. It also serves as a reminder that we may not be able to talk right after work because of a work dinner or social function the other has planned.
- Set the proper expectations: I’ve found that communication is very important before we see each other on Thursday. If we’ve had an usually stressful week, we let each other know ahead of time if we’re exhausted and need time to download and relax before diving into stories of our week or activities for the upcoming weekend.
We then set aside a time over the weekend to tackle the laundry and cleaning together, as well as discussing decisions that we need to make together.
A few months after putting these two ideas into action, I was staffed on a local project, coming home every night to my husband. Ironically, my third week home, he was sent to Maryland for a weeklong conference. We found our roles reversed. He was enjoying nights in a hotel and fine dining dinners while I ate dinner at home, relaxed on the couch and scheduled girls’ nights.
When my husband came home, he was exhausted, wanting to relax and stay in as I usually felt; whereas now I was the one, having been home all week, wanting to go out to dinner with friends or have a date night.
Consistently staying connected and setting expectations allowed us to make the transition seamlessly. We were able to fully appreciate the complete role reversal which may have otherwise initially created a stressful situation.