The Wave: Mom Style…

So today I became an Aunt for the 3rd time.  I mean really, look at this cute face and tell me you aren’t instantly in love!

Reese Adeline

She is the newest addition to my sisters family that now has 3 daughters.  Such a sweetheart, I think my sister is truly blessed.  We grew up in a house with 3 sisters and although it had its ups and downs it was overall pretty fun – it was girl central after all!

What happened to me today though was this up and down of emotional wave I have not felt for a very long time – maybe since I gave birth to my own daughter about a year ago.  So, for the record (and my sanity) let’s recount what happened today…

2:13am my phone rings, I groggily miss the call pick it up and call back.  It’s a girl (as predicted) and she is 7lb 2oz and 19.5inches.  No name was given and then my sister said call you in the morning and hangs up (come to find out she was still not all the way settled – Reese was born at 2:03am!)  I was so excited for her and my heart strings were pulled in all kinds of directions – to the point of happy tears.  It was such a rush of adrenaline that I couldn’t get back to sleep.

After 20 or so minutes of lying in bed I got up and sat on the couch.  I sat and thought about the day we might have more kids (eta Unknown), what it would be like to be pregnant again, what it would be like to have a houseful of giggles…all that was keeping me up.  The wave had started with the phone call and was going to be big.

Morning came around I packed up my kids and we drove to see the new baby.  I came to watch my two older nieces at home so they didn’t have to be shuffled around while mom waits to come home.  I was impatient the entire drive. My heart beat faster and I just couldn’t shake the thought that I was missing out on something.  It felt as if this experience was my experience.  Why?

Arrival.  Here we are.  Me and new baby Reese.  Hospital room with my sister who looks amazing and me, tired, road weary me.  The wave is at it’s crest.  This is not my experience and it becomes abundently clear.

Reese and I

The crashing decent hits me like a ton of bricks. I have 2 nieces, 2 of my own kids, lunch to cook, naps to get started, a gift to wrap and work to catch up on from being offline all day.  I think this is commonly referred to as reality.

So, the lesson for today is that life does indeed come in waves.  Waves of emotion. In and out to shore sometimes fading so quickly that if we don’t stop for those 20 minutes and relish it and remember it we may never see it again.

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