Love: What IS

 

So I’m reporting back on our family experiment to learn and implement a monthly theme.

GUYS. WHY? Why do I think this is ever going to go the way I think! It never does!

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A Week’s Recap

Day 1: Family Meeting. The big kids get it, the preschooler shares their excitement but she’s not sure why and the littles pull out all the Christmas books and spread them all over the floor. This is success.

Day 2: At dinner the kids start going around and doing the best/hardest part of their day. I pause them and remind them that we are going to share where we saw love in our day. They look at me puzzled and no one comes up with anything. We rehash the family meeting and vow to try again.

Day 3: Dinner again. “Where did you see love today?” Yep, crickets. So I give an example of appreciating the kids doing some chores without being asked. They then each retell that story as their love experience for the day. *insert eye roll here*

Day 4-6: Okay! I decide to pre-prepare them for dinner at school drop off. “Bye guys, love you, don’t forget to look for LOVE today!” Dinner came around, there were real stories about where the kids saw love.

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Things I’ve Learned

  • Where kids see love tells me a lot. Our oldest sees other people doing acts of love for one another yet never tells about himself feeling/acting in love. Our daughter is always telling us how she loved someone. Our preschooler sees the whole world as love and she can connect love to just about anything in her day.
  • I need to better define love for our kids. Love is more than an act of kindness, an encouraging word or a feeling. How we define love may change where the kids see love.
  • No one has taken me up on the senses challenge yet. I am sure it is coming but it hasn’t happened yet. I’ll report back when it does!

Goals Moving Forward

  • Define Love. Outside of some scripture I already have been working with I am turning to Pinterest for some inspiration and kid perspective on love.
  • See love more. As I’ve been telling the kids to “look for love” around them I realized I haven’t done a great job of that myself. Time to buy in and start!

Love…Love…Love…

Hello 2017…Let’s Eat!

An End of Year Intro?

So picture me and 2 of my friends sitting around laughing to the point of tears. And then a few breaths later imagine them both staring at me intently. That’s where this little 2017 adventure begins…

Over the years the idea of choosing a word has become something people do. Everyone from serious journalists to bloggers to the every day person can do it. Pick a word, learn about it, explore it, experience it and see what life brings your way.

I’ve been a fair-weather fan in the past. Yet, regardless of my past record I’ve jumped on board for 2017.

(drumroll please…) WHOLE. My word for 2017 is WHOLE.

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Photo by Life & Peace Photography

So now…

2016 was a rough year – in so many ways. Yet, I don’t want to look back on it and have it be a big black spot in my memory. I want to believe that many of the hard, bad and broken things of 2016 can still be redeemed. 

So…there are 3 places this is going to play out for me and 1 I am going to specifically blog about…

The three areas I am seeking wholeness are: Immediate Family Relationships and Rhythms, Our Home, My Personal Calling to Teach.

Feel free to ask me about any of these anytime but I want to focus on a specific aspect of our Immediate Family Relationships…moms, this one is for you!

We are family?

We are a family of 7. With 7 personalities, ages, stages, schedules and needs it is SO HARD to feel a sense of unity. Even though we have family movie night and we have a minimum of 2 meals around the same table every day, I feel like our actual connectedness is lacking.

So, the marketer in me realized that I could Pinterest and Plan until I had nothing left but it wasn’t going to make a bit of difference if the other 6 people in our family didn’t have any buy in. It’s marketing 101! The team has to want to play!

One problem. Did I mention we are a family of 7? I don’t actually have time to Pinterest and plan and prep. I barely have time to drink a warm cup of coffee or eat a whole meal. Whatever the big plan for unity was – it was going to have to be easy.

And it is going to be…

Let’s learn together, but PLEASE make it EASY!

First, I picked a theme: Fruits of the Spirit. Don’t roll your eyes quite yet. One of the things we want all our kids to have is good character. Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Gentleness, Faithfulness and Self Control are ALL parts of character building.

Second, I needed a visual: I have a very talented friend who is helping me make wall decals. Done.

Third, Organization: Each month we have a theme. Yes, I know there aren’t 12 fruits! We are going to repeat a few that we either need to work on or we really enjoyed. We are starting with Love.

  • Each night at dinner instead of asking the kids the best part and hardest part of their days like we currently do, we are going to ask them to tell us something about their day that reminded them of our theme.
  • Each night at dinner I will share a fact, definition, quote or verse about Love. Defining the character aspect is key.
  • Each day when I am talking to the kids about life, homework, friends…or disciplining, guiding or teaching I will be asking myself how is this reflecting or implementing our theme this month?

Fourth, Buy In: #TeamJudd, as we call ourselves, needs to get on the same page. But this mom, she is tired and busy and did I mention tired? So I am going to have the kids do the work!

Anytime I get an “I’m bored.” “I don’t have anything to do.” “No one will play with me.” I am going to give them a theme discovery task. We are going to ask ourselves the basic sensory questions in regards to our theme and then see if any other activities or opportunities present themselves.  If so, great, the child who thought of it will help implement it. If not, that’s okay, at least we are thinking and exploring!

So for example with Love…

  • What does love LOOK like?
  • What does love SOUND like?
  • What does love TASTE like?
  • What does love SMELL like?
  • What does love FEEL like?

Because of the various ages, stages and personalities of our kids I expect the responses and ideas to vary pretty greatly.

And this accomplishes what?

For me, Love tastes like Dove Milk Chocolate after a really long day…but it could also taste like a big juicy steak on a date with my husband.

What I learn about what love tastes like is that it isn’t really what I am eating but when and with who. How does that change what I pack my child’s lunch or choose what snacks I provide when a girlfriend comes over?

The Best Part…

I am really excited to explore some of the themes with the younger kids like joy and kindness and others of them with the older kids like faithfulness and self control. I think we will all learn a lot about who we are meant to be.

Here’s the best part: This is easy. I will spend less than 15 minutes a day “preparing” to implement this activity. The goal is not what we DO but what we LEARN. If we do nothing but have an increased, unified, knowledge of our character, this will be successful in my mind.

So, come along with me. I am going to try to swing by the blog once a week and update, share our ideas, conversations, failures and growth.

And, if you’re feeling adventurous, join in! We’d love to see how other families grow together.

 

WDIDT: Explored Broken #Write31Days

#Write31Days. 1 Topic, 31 Days, Lots of Thoughts.  This year I am reflecting on one small moment a day and why it mattered (or didn’t!). What did I do today?

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I’m a little bit of a skeptic. When the world seems to be yelling – do more – be more – live more – it can be hard to know who to listen to, what to read and where to go.

For some of us, we are grounded by grace. Yet, even then, we can find ourself doubting, confused, frustrated and sad instead of hopeful, excited and full of joy. It doesn’t mean we lack faith or even hope, it just means we are human.

Human. Broken. Saved.

An author who challenges me wrote a book that has just come out about being broken. I even had a chance to pre-read some of it. She asks what it is we are supposed to do with our one broken heart? Our one broken life?

Her encouragement is to live broken. To hold tightly to that grace we profess and continue to be a gift to people in the midst of our own brokenness. She says that by doing so we do 2 things. First, we give other people permission to be wholly themselves, as broken or whole as they are in that moment. Second, we heal together, we create and curate beautiful community.

Today I followed her around the internet as she gave interviews and shared her story.

As I stand in the thick of broken, I hear her words and am encouraged. This skeptic is still thinking it all through. Yet, this truth remains…

Human. Broken. Saved. 

Who challenged you to live differently today?

WDIDT: Couch Surfing #Write31Days

#Write31Days. 1 Topic, 31 Days, Lots of Thoughts.  This year I am reflecting on one small moment a day and why it mattered (or didn’t!). What did I do today?

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After a lovely morning at church and a relaxing lunch the little kids were off to bed and just my 7 year old and I were up.

A lot of time I use Sunday afternoons for “catch up”. Laundry, a project around the house or prepping for the work week ahead.

Today, I looked around and what really needed tending to was my daughter.

Lately, she and I have been talking about communication. Specifically, how we tell those that love us that we need a little bit more love. I wanted to remind her before she asked.

So, we got on our comfy clothes, cuddled upon the couch and turned on “Treehouse Masters”.

Besides being amazing to watch, it was fun to watch different families build different treehouses for different reasons.

That’s what I feel like her and I have been doing lately. I’ve been seeing her more for who she is, what kind of person she wants to be and why she wants be that.

She is a different girl with a different dream for different reasons. I want to love that girl.

As I sat there with my daughter I was really glad that this is how we were spending our day. Dreaming, cuddling and couch surfing.

How did you connect with someone today?

WDIDT: Dug in the Dirt #Write31Days

#Write31Days. 1 Topic, 31 Days, Lots of Thoughts.  This year I am reflecting on one small moment a day and why it mattered (or didn’t!). What did I do today?

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We are still newbies in the world of homeownership. We’ve lived in our house less than a year and it is our first home.

When we moved into our home it was cold and the ground was frozen solid. There was nothing growing. So, we waited.

For a full year we have let our yard grow. Outside of mowing the lawn we have just watched and waited.

To our surprise we discovered we have a butterfly bush, a hydrangea bush and a large amount of peonies.

We also have A LOT of weeds.

The weeds are about to overtake the plot of peonies. So, we decided to move the peonies and dig up the weeds.

And so, I tucked my littles into nap time, pulled out all the gardening supplies and got to work.

We had researched how and when to move peonies. I was able to cut them down, dig them up, see the “eyes” (the part that will grow next year) and then re-root them.

It ended up being about 3 hours worth of work AND I had roots with eyes left over.

Now, I can not wait until Spring to see what happens! The peony patch has been hidden in our back yard. Now, they will bloom in the front of our home right off the front porch!

I was reminded today how fun it is to dig in the dirt. I’ve washed my hands and soaked them and done dishes and there are still traces of dirt.

It is a little bit like life. All the moments we experience leave a trace of where we have been.

What did you do today that left a mark?

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WDIDT: Re-group #Write31Days

#Write31Days. 1 Topic, 31 Days, Lots of Thoughts.  This year I am reflecting on one small moment a day and why it mattered (or didn’t!). What did I do today?

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I like lists. Lists are how I think through things. Everything from our family schedule to brainstorming for work to creating notes for a lesson. Lists are where it all begins.

Last week when I was making my list it looked something like this between last Friday and this Friday:

That is A LOT to do!

In between there we also had the usual meals, laundry, school and actual work outside of work meetings.

Today: I re-grouped.

It is hard to leave a commitment behind. No one is holding my feet over the fire to write this month, there is no reward for completing all 31 Days, I do not think less of myself if I don’t do it perfectly.

Yet, here I am. This is what re-grouping looks like.

Re-grouping looks like choosing the MOST important things and doing those FIRST!  

We had SO MUCH FUN with my cousin and her family, I wish we would have had more time. This was the FIRST time I have been on any of the kids field trips (usually my husband likes to go) and I LOVED being with my sweet girl. I have NEVER preached at my church before and it was worth the time and energy to prepare and do it well. It is such a GIFT to be able to support our school and have fun together as a FAMILY.

As you plan your weekend and next week, what is the MOST important thing? Are you making time to do that FIRST?

Can I encourage you to make a list and then, re-group? It may just change the way you love someone.

WDIDT: Veggies #Write31Days

#Write31Days. 1 Topic, 31 Days, Lots of Thoughts.  This year I am reflecting on one small moment a day and why it mattered (or didn’t!). What did I do today?

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Folks. That is Bok Choy. Well, that is the base of what was bok choy. (Isn’t it pretty!)

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it, but my husband is a professional chef (yes, it is as amazing as it sounds – also, lifesaving for our family, I am a terrible cook, we would all suffer without him).

Since he is a professional chef I cook almost NEVER. Now, he is away for work a lot so I do cook some but let’s be honest – I am heating up what he already cooked or I am using a recipe that he has provided.

Today though, he is gone for work, I am on kitchen duty.

Every week we get fresh veggies from a local farm – I don’t ever want them to go to waste so today was the day I did something new, explored the world of Bok Choy.

While cutting up the veggies and figuring out the best way to store them and what we could use right now and what to save for later I was thinking about rhythm.

Life rhythm. Those things we do all the time, like eating, that is both essential and when done right, enjoyable.

There are so many small essential things when you are the part time working mom of 5. Laundry, meals, transportation. Life rhythm finds a hum and you just go with it. It is easy to miss the enjoyable in the essential.

We all have to eat. I dread it when I’m on cook duty. Yet, tonite, as that funny little Bok Choy end lay on my stove, I wasn’t dreading anything. The hum had become a tune, and an enjoyable one at that.

What did you do today that is both essential and enjoyable?