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Summer bleeds into fall…

August 4, 2014


I all the sudden feel like summer is bleeding into fall and while I knew it was coming I am just now noticing.

In just 3.5 short weeks we will be back on the school schedule. In just 4.5 more weeks my lovely community of moms will reconvene and I will find a new rhythm of study and prayer. In just 5.5 weeks I may not even remember what summer felt like.

This changing season has snuck up on me. I feel like this is also reflective of my personal life.

In the first 6 months of this year we have welcomed a new member to our family, I have stepped down from 2 jobs, my husbands schedule has shifted and our life rhythm has changed.

I am just now noticing our change of pace. More accurately I am just now yielding to our change of pace.

It is impossible to keep up the same tempo of work and not working, 4 kids instead of 3 and every other weekend with all of us home instead of spending all my weekends as a single parent.

I recently sat in church and listened to a sermon that spoke deeply about Ecclesiastes, the meaning of life and the beauty of God. Seasons.

Life happens in seasons.

When the seasons change we have two choices: See the change and move with it, ignore the change and fight against it.

I think I have unconsciously been fighting against the changing season.

Without thinking I have been holding tightly to what was.  I have tried to hold on to the working me. The commitment to being available and in the know and on call. The professional me that dresses for the job I want, schedules the children rigidly and constantly keeps on task in order to accomplish everything. I have tried to do with 4 kids what I did with 3. (While not impossible I don’t recommend this, babies need rest!) And then I wonder why I am tired, drained, unable to see the joy. Swimming against the current is hard work.

I see the summer ending and the fall on the horizon and am now choosing to move with the change.

I know deep down I can not do it all. It is obvious that I am no longer working outside my home and our family has grown by one. All of the sudden I am ready to embrace all that this season has to offer. I am putting on yoga pants and mowing the lawn at midday rest time. We are sitting on the porch swing just a few minutes past bedtime as we look for the moon. Deep breaths replace deep sighs and I begin to see joy around me.

I see God peeling away my former self and calling forth a new part of who I am created to be.

As this season comes I can’t claim to have it all figured out. I don’t have a big goal that will signify my arrival or completion of this season, I’m not even entirely sure what to expect. All I know is that I feel it.

Today I sit in grace. Change is coming. Watchful, attentive, willing to move with the season, not against it.

 

 

Linking today with Unforced Rhythms.

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4 comments

  1. I love everything about this. The natural shifts in life that we still seem to fight. The longing for what’s already past. The discovery that where we are can be even better. The casting off of what no longer works and embracing things that never would have fit with the past people we were. My own blog is subtitled “Learning to love my life in every season.” Because it’s just so, so easy to long for the season just past … or the one yet to come … instead of enjoying the one that is without wishing things would be any other way. Thank you for this giant breeze of fresh air (maybe even crisp fall air) to my spirit today. And blessings upon you in this most beautiful of seasons.


    • Beth ~ You are in my wordpress feed and I absolutely love your own sense and story of seasons. It’s encouraging and peaceful. Thanks for sharing your story and surrendering so often to change. Peace to you.


  2. And that, perhaps, is the best thing you can do. To move with the season, to yield to the inevitable. Oh, it’s still as hard for us – as it was for Paul – when we kick against the goads, but we do it so compulsively, don’t we? Thanks for sharing your surrender story, Rachael. I love it.


    • It’s kind of like being a toddler. It takes so much energy to throw a fit when just going with the flow of simple direction would be so much easier! So happy to have your encouragement on the journey :)



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